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Joke of the Day

"What did the dead magician say? Abra-cadaver"

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"What grows when you plant a pumpkin spice latte and water it with vodka? A sorority."
"Mudering people is a lot like smoking cigarettes I can stop any time I want."
"Husband Bear: Honey! I'm home! Wife Bear: For God's sake, would you at LEAST say hello before demanding dinner?"
"Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life."
"So... a dyslexic man walks into a bra."
"There's an emoji for eggplants but not for popcorn and this is why trusting people isn't just hard it's impossible."
"New rule: Confederate States don't get to pick who sings ""God Bless America"". We'll fly someone in from up north."
"Q: Why do blondes hate M&Ms? A: They're too hard to peel."
"Dating a single mother: It's like continuing from somebody else's saved game."