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Joke of the Day

"Doctor: You need a kidney transplant. Me: A transplant? Dr: Don't worry, I've never lost a patient. I know where each one is buried. Me:"

"A programmer's wife sends him to the store for a loaf of bread. On his way out she adds, ""and if they have eggs, get a dozen"". He returns home with 12 loaves of bread."

"Q: How do you catch a unique rabbit? A: Unique up on him."

"Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he neverlands."

"I don't have a vagina, but I'm pretty sure sex feels a lot like cleaning your ear out with a Q-tip."

"If this tweet gets 5 retweets, I will threaten a public official on Facebook."

"Ladies, the knight with the shiniest Armour has done the least amount of brave or cool sh*t."

"What does a Polish man give to his bride on their wedding day that's both long and hard? His surname"

"""I always try to go the extra mile for my customers"" - new york's most hated cab driver"

"What do politicians do for fun? Rave at the party."