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Joke of the Day

"Q: How do you catch a unique rabbit? A: Unique up on him."

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"Burnt my Hawaiian pizza today ... Should of put it on aloha temperature."
"Guy: What do you do? Me: I tell jokes on Twitter G:No, I mean, what do you do to support yourself? Me: I tell myself that they're good jokes"
"I accidentally knocked over my daughters giant Lego building she made. It's ok though, I blamed it on radical Muslims like a good American."
"Whats the difference between a feminist and a jihad? one actually fights for change"
"What did one repost say to another? Well the flag is a big plus! ಠ_ಠ"
"Q. How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a javelin blindfolded? A. You don't have to be very good to get people's attention."
"things u don't want to here at the doctors office (during prostate exam) 'look no hands'"
"""Hey look, a cemetery"" Dad: ""People are just dyin' to get there."""
"I met my soulmate. She didn't."