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Joke of the Day

"The main problem with gay marriage is when two men hold the knife to cut the cake they will be too strong and cut through the plate & table."

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"A guy walks into a bar... He says ouch."
"Dr Watson asks Sherlock Holmes... ""Holmes, why are you spreading fruit juice on my buttocks?"" ""Lemon entry dear Watson, Lemon entry"""
"Found out the name of my neighbor's cat. In other news, I now have free internet."
"Headed to police station to go through mugshots for a date tonight. I don't trust ChristianMingle."
"brought a knife onto a flight just so the security agents would tackle me because sometimes it's just nice to be held."
"How are Harambe and the iPhone the same? it only took one extra hole to kill them both"
"A reason why we can't have a perfect world: Because I don't want one."
"If your phone gets wet put it in dry rice... at night the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronic device for cheap..."
"Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She is a woman."