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Joke of the Day

"Soon-Yi Previn. Not the first Asian chick to have a secret woody..."

"Roses are red, violets are blue. Sugar is sweet, and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead. The sugar bowls empty and so is your head."

"What do people do in Greece? Slip and slide around."

"I want to see where the indians live.... But I have my reservations."

"Hey baby do you build portable wienerschnitzels? Because you make my hotdog stand"

"It's a fair notion to suggest that I'm quite keen on oral contraceptives. I asked a girl to have sex with my one night. She said ""No."""

"Walking a straight line and tweeting is hard enough without this asshole shining a flashlight in my eyes."

"How did Jesus feel when they crucified him? He was cross."

"A necklace and a little plane on it. The man was staring at the little plane on the woman's necklace The woman: Do you like the plane? The man: No! I like the airport."

"Did you hear about the kidnapping? I heard they woke him up!"