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Joke of the Day

"What do people do in Greece? Slip and slide around."

"What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A collie-flower !"

"(First Day as Mailman) ME: *wearing a suit made out of stapled together pieces of mail* Sup? BOSS: You're supposed to deliver those. ME: No."

"What has 3 tails 4 trunks and 6 feet ? An elephant with spare parts !el"

"I feel sorry for people who's middle names start with V... Their first and last names are always fighting."

"Sorry Satan, but I'm selling my soul to Buddah. You gotta be fucking stupid to pass up on a tasty offer like ""free Chinese food for life."""

"My husband grabbed a lightsaber and challenged our daughter to a battle. She ran to the kitchen and grabbed a knife."

"I'm gonna get a neck tattoo that looks exactly like my neck."

"So I hear you like snakes...I have one its called a ""trouser snake"""

"[Installing ceiling fan] Me: drill...screwdriver... tape...there finished! Wife on the phone: Is this Bob's fix-it shop? Yeah, he just got done."