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Joke of the Day

"""I'm so pissed I could punch a ba-"" ""A what?"" Big Baby from Toy Story 3 hovers over me, sawed-off shotgun in hand. ""A bagel. I HATE carbs."""

"Obama: Joe, look. Full moon Biden: What? TONIGHT? *starts shapeshifting* Obama: Joe? Biden: AARRGHHH *Gore kicks door down* Gore: MANBEARPIG"

"[At bar] BARTENDER: I dont think she wants to talk man ME: [dabbing on pickle juice as cologne] I think I know what the ladies want pal"

"Technology has made it so much easier to complain about technology."

"Whats similar between a non alcoholic beer and your sisters pussy Tastes right but feels wrong"

"Yo mama so hairy Bigfoot is taking her picture!"

"What do you call a guy who's great at tying flies? A *master baiter*"

"What do you call people pretending to be a ball? roll playing im sry"

"Do you know what is 100,000 French men standing with their hands up? French Army."

"Since it's hunting season, we are allowed to shoot the cars with the antlers on them, right?"