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Joke of the Day

"Are you lactose intolerant? If so, you won't be able to handle this cheesy joke"

"CW: How was your weekend? *finds nearest object* ""Hello?"" CW: Are you talking to a stapler? ""I'm sorry, I have to take this."""

"A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre, so he gave it to her."

"Butterflies are like regular flies, but they live at Paula Deen's house."

"Why don't the people of Pompeii like volcanoes? Because they're all dead. As told by my best friend, in light of the Indian joke."

"Theres a dating website for people that believe the government is ran by lizard people so I really have no excuse for being single"

"Think about something positive! What's the first thing that comes to your mind? My HIV test."

"I hate weddings, funerals and the symphony. I never know when to clap."

"Why are men sexier than women? Because you can't spell sexy without XY"

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? It will take a minute for me to get hard I just got laid by a chick"