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Joke of the Day

"So I want to start a business of manufacturing ATM machines... .... I hope it pays off"

"What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea."

"A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.. The bartender looks at him and says, ""Wow, that's pretty cool! Where'd you get it?"" The parrot replies, ""In Africa, they're everywhere!"""

"unlike drugs, twitter addiction won't cost you anything, except your social life"

"The consequences of electing Trump... There will be heil toupee"

"TIFU by having the wrong teacher take my class for me while I was off Work. Whoops, wrong sub."

"What did the socialists use before candles? Electricity"

"Hubs and I have fought so much lately I've lost 10 lbs. I thought about leaving him, but I'd like to lose another 10 lbs first."

"My greatest fear on Monday is greeting someone and asking someone how their weekend went and they actually telling me every mundane details about it."

"How do you hit on a Jewish girl? Tell her that she israeli hot!"