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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a Greyhound bus station and a lobster with tits? One's a crusty bus station; the other is a busty crustacean."

"What do you call it when one musician abuses another? An act of violins."

"The lesbian couple next door got me a Rolex for my birthday. I think they misunderstood what I meant by ""I wanna watch"""

"Rumours of a food shortage..... Rumours of a food shortage at this year's Spoonerism Awards turned out to be a complete lack of pies."

"Doctor Doctor I've got wind! Can you give me something? Yes - here's a kite!"

"So I was at a party, All the refreshments are lined up on a table; We're still waiting on the *punchline*."

"Did you hear about the guy who got his tongue cut out by the mafia? Never mind. It's a tasteless joke."

"What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus??? It only takes one nail to hang a photo"

"My sex life is like finding a parking spot in town. All the good ones are taken, so sometimes when no one is looking I have to stick it into disabled one."

"How do you fit 50 Jews in a car? 2 in the front 3 in the back and 45 in the ash tray."