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Joke of the Day

"Our son brought weed to Show & Tell and the teacher sent him home with $50 pinned to his shirt."

"Did you hear about the Jewish doctor who gave a patient six months to live? When the patient couldn't pay the doctor gave him another six months."

"How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Follow the fresh prints!"

"How can you see if a Hairdresser is not suitable for the job anymore? He/she barely even cuts it anymore."

"What the difference between a calender and you.... a calendar has dates."

"dont judge a book by its cover. dont judge a book at all. read a book. write a book. dont judge a book unless that book has murdered someone"

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away... If you're a good enough thrower!"

"Why did the pickle stop being a contortionist? It was to cucumbersome."

"My Dyslexic Cat thinks she has "" P "" no. of lives."

"So I found out about this huge magnet near my house. It's called a Walmart and it pulls all the fat people in my town close to it."