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Joke of the Day

"I hadn't seen my girlfriend for a while... When she saw me, she said, ""Wow, your hands are so soft!"" ""But... where have you been working out?"""

Next Joke
 
"If it comes down to Joe Biden vs Donald Trump we should just accept our fates & let a chili dog eating contest determine who's president."
"What did Sushi A say to Sushi B? Wasabi"
"Want to hear a joke about paper? Ehh, never mind. It's tearable."
"You know what I find odd? Every other number"
"Did I tell you about my old girl friend with only one leg? Unfortunately we broke up. Turns out she leans both ways."
"What is a time travelling vacuum cleaner called? Dr Whoover"
"scary Halloween costume idea: eye contact"
"*on a 1st date* Her:..and I have 3 cats Me: Swipe left H: Did you say ""swipe left""?! M: H: M: *panicked whisper* swipeleftswipeleftswipeleft"
"A cool fun way to stop his snoring so you can finally get some sleep is to separate the head from the body."