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Joke of the Day
"What is a time travelling vacuum cleaner called? Dr Whoover"
Next Joke
"What's a poops favorite color? Turdquoise"
"*sits 27 hours for an oil on canvas portrait* omg delete that. Bartholomew i'm serious do not fucking hang that in the Great Hall"
"The best thing about non-sequiturs is the bacon flavored wheelbarrow and my cat thinks he's Anderson Cooper's boyfriend."
"I went for sushi with Luke Skywalker and he was struggling with chopsticks... ""Use the fork, Luke!"" I said."
"A doe walks out of a forest... and says ""Well I'll never do that for a buck again."""
"I keep getting emails about penis enlargement. The ones from my wife are starting to get personal, but it's the ones from my mother that really hurt."
"kids can't play outside b/c of the miniscule chance they'll be kidnapped. at age 16 they get keys to a 2000-pound machine powered by fire"
"You don't sweat much for a fat chick."
"Somebody stole my mood ring... ...I don't know how I feel about that."