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Joke of the Day

"*on a 1st date* Her:..and I have 3 cats Me: Swipe left H: Did you say ""swipe left""?! M: H: M: *panicked whisper* swipeleftswipeleftswipeleft"

"Favorite question to ask a prospective boyfriend for my sister: Have you ever seen a dead body? *casually lifts shirt to expose .357*"

"The dark lord Saran has wrapped Middle Earth in 2-3 days of freshness."

"A little Arab boy Anything that makes people who aren't white Americans embarrassed or angry, is racist."

"What does Garfield like in his bed? Pussy"

"My love for you is like diarrhea......I cant hold it in.."

"The coolest thing about dating Mystique from the X-men is the unlimited free food samples she can get for you at Costco."

"Why did the chicken cross the basketball court? He heard the ref was blowing fouls."

"why dont jewish people like getting made fun of? Because millions of them already got roasted"

"Whip me up, Before you Nae Nae Don't leave me hanging on like a Bae Bae"