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Joke of the Day

"""I'm glad you're so normal. It's refreshing."" ""That's me- totally normal!"" *waves off mariachi band waiting in the wings*"

"[ouija board] hi grandma, i hope your in heaven and i love you ""..y..o..u..'r..e.."""

"What's the difference between a bag of coke and a baby? Eric Clapton would never let a bag of coke fall out the window."

"What do you call an arrogant robber? a condescending condescending"

"Why keyboards... Why keyboards don't sleep? Because they have two shifts!"

"What's the difference between driving in the fog and eating pussy? At least you can see the asshole in front of you when you're eating pussy."

"What do you call a union of writers? A writers' block"

"These drawstring pajama pants practically fall down when I don't tie them, so I guess another piece of birthday cake is in order."

"What's the internal temperature of a Ton-ton? Lukewarm"

"Sending a second cup of coffee down to check on the first one to see why it's not doing its job"