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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between driving in the fog and eating pussy? At least you can see the asshole in front of you when you're eating pussy."

"Most unrealistic scene in Pacific Rim? Hundreds take shelter in a bunker during a monster attack. Not one person is tweeting."

"What do you call a fish out of water? Asians? Idk it's been a rough day."

"Survey says According to a new study by the CDC, women are more likely than men to experiment with same-sex partners. Said men, ""What channel is CDC?"""

"Where do Cows go for parties? The Moovies"

"A ship full of red paint crashes into a island... The sailors were marooned."

"[Arby's] BRO [jumping into car]: GO ME: it's lunch, not a bank heist B: they put EXTRA CURLY FRIES in the bag M: OMG I'm too pretty for jail"

"What's blue and not very heavy? Light blue"

"I cut my pizza into 7 bits I haven't had a byte yet"

"I speak 4 languages: English, Profanity, Sarcasm, and Real shit."