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Joke of the Day

"I like my women like I like my government. No Bush."

"Yup. If pasta & antipasta ever touch, they annihilate. For your safety, that's why restaurants never serve them together."

"What do you call a balding Native American? A patchy.."

"*exorcism* DEMON: *roars* PRIEST: we must restrain him! WIFE: *opens drawer* here! *tosses fuzzy pink handcuffs* PRIEST: ... DEMON: hey now"

"Welcome to our nearly empty restaurant. Please follow me to our shittiest table."

"Why are Jewish Women like the Bermuda triangle They both swallow seamen."

"A steak pun... ... is a rare medium well done."

"Friend from out of town asked if he could crash on my couch. Had to explain to him that I'm married now, so that's where I sleep."

"Typos change everything Mollahs wanted to bring the scientific method to Iran, but then someone in the process mistyped ""trial and error"" into ""rial and terror"""

"Why couldn't the boy keep his documents open when he left a window open in winter? Because it was too Win+D"