94540

Joke of the Day

"IF POT GETS LEGALIZED WHAT'S TO STOP SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO SMOKE A HORSE"

"Why is Peter Pan always flying around? Because he can never never land"

"HER: We need to talk. ME: No one actually NEEDS to talk. HER: ... ME: I assume we need to talk longer now."

"REALTOR: You'll LOVE this home- ME: My dog doesn't like it. REALTOR: But I- ME: [holding dog in realtor's face] I TRUST HIM MORE THAN YOU"

"What do you call a boat full of Karma? An Upboat."

"A man visits the doctor. The doctor says to the man: ""I'm really sorry, but I have to tell you you got AIDS and alzheimers disease."" To which the man answers: ""Phew, Im just glad it's not AIDS..."""

"What do Russians call their barbers? Combrade"

"What are Bill Gates latest projects? Needle upscaling and camel miniaturization."

"""The entire sky is mine to explore!Nah, Ill just swoop dangerously through traffic instead.""- Birds"

"How did AL Gore program his computer? With the proper al-gor-ithms"