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Joke of the Day

"I used to drive a Ford Fiesta... Until I took some Adderal to study for my test. Now It's a ford focus"

"My Granddad is on a catheter...... It really takes the piss"

"What's the difference between hungry and horny? Where to put the cucumber."

"US Loretta Lynch confirms that all 7 FIFA officials dramatically threw themselves onto the ground faking injury when arrested earlier today."

"What does a pirate's beard feel like? Corsair. (works better in a pirate accent)"

"Football started as strictly butt-slapping & they built the rest of the game around that so it wouldn't look weird by itself"

"Whenever I read the karma sutra, it puts me in an awkward position."

"Here, take my advice. It's not like I'm using it..."

"A man walks into a bar He asks the bartender, ""Do you have any helicopter flavored potato chips?"" The bartender shakes his head and says, ""No, we only have plain."""

"So I accidentally sent nudes to everyone in my address book. Worst part about it? Cost me a small fortune in postage stamps."