92931

Joke of the Day

"Honking the whole time isn't going to make everyone in front of you go any faster. Stupid geese."

"I just paid to have my house exorcised... But I couldn't keep up with the repayments - so my house got Repossessed."

"When everyone was giving apples to their teachers, I was the one giving cucumbers... Still to this day, Mr. Smith won't look me in the eyes."

"On a scale of 1 to 10 you'd be a 10... On a pH scale because then you'd be a basic bitch"

"My friend's mouth and tongue were blistering and burning after eating tacos last night... serves him right! I told him not to eat Mexican."

"TIFU by walking into the class of the wrong substitute teacher Whoops, wrong sub."

"How do you call a lesbian's pussy? The no man's land. (From me, but that's an easy one, so someone must have come up with it before. But as a frenchman, I'm pretty proud of it.)"

"I got a job installing security systems... I find it pretty alarming"

"Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He drank coffee before it was cool."

"Why can't there be peace in the Middle East? It IS what it IS."