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Joke of the Day

"Celine Dion walks into a bar and the bar tender says ""Why the long face?"" To which she replies ""My husband and brother just died."""

"News: Video of black Baltimore mother beating her rioting son goes viral. She beat him so hard the police gave her a job application."

"Bears can swim, climb trees, and open doors. Why aren't there ""BEWARE OF BEARS"" signs posted fucking everywhere?!"

"I scream, you scream, this funeral just got more interesting."

"Do they make a Rosetta Stone for women's moods yet?"

"Ebola walks into a bar.... ....and all of West Africa"

"How does the Ultimate Warrior repair his car? With parts unknown."

"Life doesn't matter. Life IS matter."

"Why did the hipster burn his tongue on his cup of free-trade coffee? Because he started drinking it before it was cool."

"My boss My boss hates when I shorten his name to Dick. Especially since his name is Stephen."