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Joke of the Day

"Does anyone know where concentrate is? I've been drinking lovely orange juice from there for years now.."

"What do Scrooge McDuck and dragons have in common? They love to swim in gold coins."

"People really hate my cheesy puns... but I'm quite fondue of them."

"ME, TEXTING MY CRUSH: have any plans tonight? HER: no not yet!! i'm totally free and available ME: ok well have a good night whatever u do"

"I don't mean to brag but my stalker has OCD so he trims my bushes while he's hiding in them waiting for me to get home."

"Why did the chicken limp across the road? Because it was a lame joke."

"Greece is a good example of capital punishment."

"You people who pull back the shower curtain checking for psycopathic murderers ... if you find one, what's your plan?"

"I farted alone in a room and then my girlfriend's dad came in. Now I have to pretend like something is dead in the walls and help him look."

"German tourist crosses Polish border. Border guards ask him: -Name? -Hans -Surname? -Schmidt -Occupation? -No, just traveling."