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Joke of the Day

"I brought my gimp home from the club yesterday and took off his mask... Oops, wrong sub!"

"Sometimes I hang out in tea shops waiting for someone to say ""Oolong"" so I can shout ""THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!"""

"I bought my girlfriend a new LOTR themed sex toy... ... It's called Dildo Shaggins"

"What's the difference between a fish and a guitar? You can't tuna fish!"

"What did the fruit say to the vegetable? Lettuce be grape friends."

"What did the Bacon say to the Tomato? What did Bacon say to Tomato? ""Lettuce get together"""

"My dick was in the Guinness Book of Records! ...but then I got kicked out of the library."

"Dating is like a See-saw Not very fun when one of you is fat."

"I didn't want to believe that my Dad was being accused of stealing from his job as a road worker, but when I got home all the signs were there."

"Have you heard about the sensitive burglar? He takes things personally."