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Joke of the Day

"What did the Invisible Man's mom say after he came out as invisible? ""I can't even look at you anymore!"""

"Being a FEMALE is a matter of BIRTH, being a WOMAN is a matter of AGE, but being a LADY is a matter of CHOICE..."

"I think I'm going to give away my old Dyson vacuum cleaner. It's just collecting dust."

"Republicans seek to re-brand poverty as a lifestyle choice."

"What did the veggies say, as they sat down for supper? ""Lettuce, pray."""

"How did the fish's tail get stuck in the anchor chain? It was just a fluke!"

"A smart woman knows when to give up and walk away A southern woman has a shotgun and a shovel named give up and walk away"

"What do you call a monkey in a minefield? A Baboom!"

"Russian Standard is a vodka and American Standard is a toilet. Russians are all drunks and Americans are all full of shit."

"An impressed man and his friend. Man: ""'Wow, you're omniscient!"" Friend: ""What does that mean?"" Man: ""Nevermind."""