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Joke of the Day

"Russian Standard is a vodka and American Standard is a toilet. Russians are all drunks and Americans are all full of shit."

"If you buy organic and don't tell someone about it, is it still organic?"

"2 Indian guys accidentally snorted curry powder instead of cocaine... Both were rushed to hospital. One's in a korma, the other's got a dodgy tikka."

"whenever i watch the tv show Friends, i imagine im the seventh friend, Dirk, who just stays home while all his friends do stuff without him"

"Hey chicks that only post inspirational shit: we know you're nuts."

"Why did the baker have brown hands? Because he needed a poo. (As in, kneaded a poo.)"

"Did you hear about the guy who haggled with a prostitute for sex in exchange for his pet deer? He was trying to get the most bang for his buck."

"What did the drunk say when his boss enquired about his availability? Yeah, I'm av**ale**able."

"Why did the feminist masseuse stop at the thigh? She didn't like to massage a knee."

"Why did the Windows OS skip from 8 to 10? Because seven, eight, nine."