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Joke of the Day

"""911, what's your emergency?"" Hi i need to report a kidnapping. My son is taking a nap in my room right now."

"they say a camera adds 5 pounds. that being the case, do african children even exist?"

"Two aerials meet on a roof fall in love get married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant."

"Me: Help! i need my stomach pumped. 911 Operator: Did you ingest poison, ma'am? Me: No. Pizza."

"Photons don't even matter."

"So my friend asked if I wanted to hear a corny joke... So I said, ""I'm all ears!"""

"Lost 200 pounds. Here's my story. British prostitutes are *expensive.*"

"ME: I have chronic pain. It flares up whenever someone challenges my beliefs FRIEND: That's not really how chronic pain works ME: ow owwww"

"What do mysoginy and racism have in common? Black women."

"They offer an Islamic studies course at my university. *I hear it's a blast!*"