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Joke of the Day

"That awkward moment when you die, and all you were trying to do was take a selfie with a lion on a jungle safari.."

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"A psychic Midget escaped from jail yesterday. The papers read: ""Small Medium at Large"""
"2 cannibals are eating a clown... ""....does this taste funny to you?"""
"Man, my 84-year-old neighbor must REALLY like working on his car. He's been under there changing the oil for 3 days."
"God hates a coward! ...He ain't to fond of idiots either"
"How do you turn a robot on? You push his power button."
"*tries to take off date's bra* If you- *tries again* If- *again* If you would take off the hulk gloves this would be easier *looks up* NEVER"
"In Canada , we have two seasons... six months of winter and six months of poor snowmobiling."
"OMG a Matterbaby just washed up on Santa Monica beach! *""what's a matter baby?""* uh... nothing what is a matter with you?"
"Why don't they play poker in Africa? Because there's cheetahs."