94324

Joke of the Day

"Me: BARTENDER! Bring me another beer. Him: Mom, I'm doing my homework. Me: *claps* Star! Him: I hate Twitter. Me: *belch* blocked."

"I like my women like I like my peanut butter Chunky."

"How do you pick up a girl from Auschwitz..... With a broom and a dustpan."

"I once dated a girl so my pet rock wouldn't be embarrassed after he threw himself at her window."

"What does a dog from Minnesota say? Woof da."

"Two muffins are baking in an oven. The first muffin says, ""wow, it's really getting hot in here."" The second muffin says, ""Wow... a talking muffin ! """

"What's Irish and sits by the pool? Paddy O'Furniture"

"*picks out all the marshmallows from your Lucky Charms* *replaces them with Flintstones vitamins* You looked a little sickly."

"It would be endearing to call Elon Musk... Musk Dear"

"Shakespear's hip hop stage name Will.i.ambicpentameter"