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Joke of the Day

"My uncle invented this one today. What is the best part of a dog eating peanut butter? He has no hands to pick the pubes out."

"I'm so sick and tired of my friends who can't handle their alcohol. The other night they dropped me three time while carrying me to the car."

"There's a reason why we can't hit bitches. That would be animal abuse"

"I like my coffee like I like my men Tall, dark, strong, and inside of me."

"What do you do if your in the way of stampeding cows? Take away their credit cards so they can't charge"

"Did you know condoms had serial numbers? I guess you've never had to roll it down that far"

"What do they call the Hunger Games in Ethiopia? Games."

"this month's full moon is in virgo. you know what that means: you shouldn't be friends with me because i will tell you shit like this"

"Nobody knows why our shoemaker always makes the insides of his shoes rock-hard... They say he was just born without a sole"

"Why do push up bras not work for some girls? Because 0x0 is always 0."