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Joke of the Day

"I'm so sick and tired of my friends who can't handle their alcohol. The other night they dropped me three time while carrying me to the car."

"I'm a traveling art collector, but not doing so well... I'm always in need of Monet to buy Degas to make the van Gogh."

"Two rules for success 1. Never reveal everything you know"

"What's black on the outside but yellow on the inside? Ninja chicken."

"What's the difference between Bird flu and swine flu? For one you get tweetment and the other you get oinkment..."

"One of the worst things about tweeting while driving is all of the people that seem to appear out of nowhere on the sidewalk."

"What is the difference between the hot girl at work and the one at home? You can assign tasks to the first kind!"

"I wrote a book on DIY. It comes with a free pen."

"What happens to an Asian guy when they run into a wall with a full erection? They break their nose!"

"A step-by-step guide: How to fall down stairs Step 1 Step 6 Step 7,8,9,11"