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Joke of the Day

"Reportedly Wayne Rooney said to Roy Hodgson ""I don't know if I'm better on the left, middle or right"" Hodgson responded ""Shut up and pick a seat on the plane Wayne"""

"What do you call a greedy lesbian? Bush hog."

"[On WebMD] I have a sore throat [Throat cancer] I wasn't done, and a stomach ache. [Cancer] Couldn't it be the flu? [If it wasn't cancer]"

"My wife gave me her Christmas list. I said, ""isn't my undying love & affection enough?"" We laughed and laughed. Now I'm at the purse store"

"If your mom could communicate with the dead she would be an extra large."

"Do you think Professor that my wife should take up the piano as a career? No I think she should put down the lid as a favor."

"A book just fell on my head. I only have, my-shelf to blame. :3"

"A heavy metal fan walks into a heavy metal bar. He gets a concussion."

"A crossdresser, a vegan and an athiest walk into a bar I only know because it's reposted every week"

"So I've been chatting with this 13 year old girl online. She's funny, flirty and sexy. Now she tells me shes an undercover cop... How cool is that for someone her age??"