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Joke of the Day

"My entire working knowledge of automotive repair is derived from the song ""The Wheels on the Bus"""

"I was fucking this older woman, when she said, ""You know, you remind me of my son."" I said, ""Let's not make this weird, gran."""

"I could not stop my baby boy from crying so I poured no tears shampoo in his eyes, it didn't work."

"What's Scotland's BIGGEST cause of depression? Lonely ness."

"me: hello darkness my old friend darkness: you are going to hate me but I forgot your name"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bargain ! Bargain who ? Bargain up the wrong tree !"

"Life is like a box of chocolates... and I am a lactose-intolerant diabetic."

"What did George Washington have to do with Gorillas? As little as possible dummy!"

"What do you call a lesbian who also doesn't eat meat? A vagetarian."

"I didn't get a chance to do yoga this morning or any other morning of my life."