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Joke of the Day

"I was fucking this older woman, when she said, ""You know, you remind me of my son."" I said, ""Let's not make this weird, gran."""

"I've been hit by a car before, you don't want to go down that road."

"I'm trying to get in shape and be more politically correct. I rehydrate with LGBTQtorade"

"What's Santa's favourite heavy metal band? Sleigher"

"What's the difference between an entomologist and an etymologist? An etymologist would know"

"What is the difference between Sarah Palin's hoo-ha and her mouth? Only half the stuff that comes out of her hoo-ha is retarded."

"The Madame opened up a new sporting-house with an eye to cutting costs. She had all the rooms on one story to cut out the fuckin' overhead."

"My girlfriend called me a pedophile I told her that's a big word for a 7 year old"

"Doctor! Doctor! I think I have Barry Manilow's disease! ""What are your symptoms?"" ""I can't laugh and I can't sing. I'm finding it hard to do anything!"""

"I just finished doing 100 push-ups over a period of 8 years"