94040

Joke of the Day

"[buys plastic lightsabers for the kids] 5-year-old daughter: Mine is broken. Me: What's wrong with it? 5: It doesn't even cut off arms."

"What do you call a fat skeleton? big boned"

"How dare you incinerate that I don't know big words."

"Cannibal boy: mommy I don't like grandpa Cannibal mom: alright sweety, just eat the potatos"

"LPT: If you've got toddlers at home, and you're going to take them out... You can probably get away with using a light sedative. Save chloroform for children 12 and older."

"What do you call the useless bit of skin at the end of a penis? A Man."

"Where do polar bears go to deposit money? A snowbank"

"This year, teach your kids the true meaning of Easter by trapping them in a stone tomb for three days."

"Retweet this if you think they should make gallon sized Caprisuns and have it still be a squeezable.. Think about it."

"Breakdown of time spent cleaning my office: 5% Cleaning 95% Studying long forgotten artifacts of my past"