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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a fat skeleton? big boned"

"I was going to tell a salt joke... But it's just sodium stupid."

"You know you're getting old when you can't tell the difference between a heart attack and an orgasm."

"What do you call your female friend with tiny breasts? Your flatmate"

"At what point does a Lamb become a Sheep? When its had it's Baaaaa-Mitzvah!"

"Teaching 19 to cook, clean, and do laundry so if he ever gets married his wife won't divorce him and make him my responsibility again."

"Q: What can save a dying blonde? A: Hair transplants."

"I asked Roy Hodgson if he would consider 4-4-2 next week. He said, ""No, we'll probably go 7-4-7 it's wider and offers more leg room."""

"I'm about to watch 'Funny or Die' on HBO. Wow. Now I'm nervous.. I hope I laugh.."

"I just got a Christmas card promising lots of anal and oral sex this year... I fucking hate prison."