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Joke of the Day

"Auto correct changed ""group hug"" to ""grope hug"" and I'm not in charge of the team-building exercises any more."

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"If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame."
"If I answer you with my voice two octaves higher than normal, ""whaaaaat?!"" then one octave lower than normal, ""noooooo,"" the answer was yes."
"Who's the most meta player on a Football team? The PUNter."
"What did the right pussy lip tell the left pussy lip? We used to be tight"
"My wife just gave me an ultimatum, it's either her or Facebook. So sadly, this will be my last joke..... in which I talk about having a wife."
"What starts with the letter ""M"" and picks up metal? Mexicans."
"If I drew a cartoon depicting Mohamed and Harambe dating It would be Haram-Bae"
"Why do Scottish men wear kilts? Because sheep can hear zippers."
"To level the playing field, online dating sites should require using the picture in your driver's license."