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Joke of the Day

"Auto correct changed ""group hug"" to ""grope hug"" and I'm not in charge of the team-building exercises any more."

"Whats the difference between a prostitute and a crack dealer? The prostitute can wash her crack and use it again and again."

"I find the biggest difference in Canada vs the US is they don't put your lids on for you at Starbucks and exponentially less gun violence."

"The length of my penis was in the Guinness Book Of World Records Untill the librarian told me to take it out"

"My wife asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I told her I wanted to film a sex tape. I was surprised when she agreed but now it's awkward because she thought I meant with her."

"What do you call 3 mexicans breaking into somewhere? Trespassers"

"This Summer, I've been grilling on the roof of my apartment. The steaks have never been higher."

"[briefing] CIA DIRECTOR: We have a leak... CIA PLUMBER: (slowly stands up) CIA DIRECTOR: In our operation. CP: (slowly sits back down)"

"It's not generic enough. ~Producers of American sitcoms"

"Mother: What do you mean the school must be haunted ? Daughter: Well the principal kept going on about the school spirit."