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Joke of the Day

"[briefing] CIA DIRECTOR: We have a leak... CIA PLUMBER: (slowly stands up) CIA DIRECTOR: In our operation. CP: (slowly sits back down)"

"Me and my girlfriend tried anal the other night... Me and my girlfriend tried anal the other night for the first time. didn't go so well. no idea how my ass is supposed to fit inside her vagina..."

"And I'll have the KKK omelet All whites."

"Why aren't there any French Restaurants in Davy Jones' Locker? Dead men sell no snails!"

"I just finished doing 100 push-ups over a period of 8 years"

"You should be my grillfriend. Not a typo, girl. You're hot enough to cook meat on."

"What did the hippie say when somebody told him to get off of their couch? Namaste."

"Q: What's got four legs and no ears? A: Mike Tyson's dog."

"When God closes a door, he opens a window. Our heating bill is outrageous & six raccoons got in last night. Please God, this has to stop."

"You know you've been friendzoned if a girl adds you as her brother on Facebook."