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Joke of the Day

"Critics agree that plot considerations did not justify the near-constant nudity in your film ""How To Safely Use A Ladder In The Workplace"""

"What is Mozart doing right now? Decomposing"

"It's not enough to get up at 8 am & freeze on the soccer field. One must also scream from the sidelines so everyone knows you care."

"A classics professor goes to a tailor... ... to get his trousers mended. The tailor asks: ""Euripides?"" The professor replies: ""Yes. Eumenides?"""

"I hope this magician is good [curtain rises to reveal a man with no goatee] get your coats, children. that man is a fraud."

"Hey Spongebob, what's funnier than 24? 9/11."

"Had sex while camping the other day.... It was fucking in tents....."

"Q: When do you kick a midget in the balls?A: When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice."

"Did you hear about the guy who got his whole left side cut off? He's all right now."

"Why did the USSR agree to a nonaggression pact with Nazi Germany? They were Stalin."