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Joke of the Day

"A classics professor goes to a tailor... ... to get his trousers mended. The tailor asks: ""Euripides?"" The professor replies: ""Yes. Eumenides?"""

"What has 108 teeth and holds back the incredible Hulk? My Zipper."

"My nickname in the North Pole is 'comma' I had sex with Santa's wife and separated the clauses"

"""Out with the dead, in with the old."" - Nursing homes"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Beaver E ! Beaver E who ? Beaver E quiet and nobody will find us !"

"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because it looks like you landed face first"

"What did a blind french guy said he wanted for christmas? ""All I want for christmas is yeux"""

"BAND: How's everyone doing tonight!! [crowd goes nuts] ME (standing in the middle, normal voice): Ok I guess. Kinda tired."

"A very large woman was walking her dog... and as she walked by I said ""nice pig,"" she looked at me with a puzzled face and said ""that's no pig, it's my dog."" I replied with ""I was talking to the dog."""

"Ingredients for an apocalypse salad Edive, thyme"