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Joke of the Day

"Boyfriend asked me to put a few planks of wood together... Nailed it!"

"What's 18 inches long and hangs in front of an asshole? Donald Trump's tie."

"Why was the binary number so happy? Because of two's compliment!"

"After my fourth failed relationship, my friend tells me 'keep your head up, these girls come and go, but you'll find someone for you', but deep down i know... Girls don't just come and go... I do."

"What did Cindarella say when she got to the ball? Gluk gluk gluk (say it out loud)"

"I got called ""vein"" and I'm just like, k not the most vital component of the circulatory system but still essential so thank you"

"TREE: [sees christmas tree thru window] who dose he think he is. all dressed up. too good to be outside ANOTHER TREE: be nice, he is dying"

"What do you call an Asian with a big... NSFW Butt hole? Gay ping!"

"This may be one all of you have heard, but what do Eric Clapton and coffee have in common? They both suck without Cream."

"Did you hear about the blind woman in a gangbang? She didn't know what came over her."