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Joke of the Day

"If a gym has 75 treadmills, 1 is being used, what do you do? You go home because it's your favorite one being used Math is easy"

"If you see me out somewhere and act like you didn't, you should know that I ignored you first."

"When your kids are little you're a superhero. When they're teens you're a super villain. After that, your only power is invisibility."

"The playwright wanted to make a play using only particles made from 2 quarks each. It was his meson scene."

"If a cop beats a pregnant woman till the fetus dies, is it a miscarriage of justice?"

"What's the funniest type of Mexican food? Fajitahahahas"

"What is worse than a dude shooting cum on your floor? A dude farting cum on your floor."

"Did you hear about that vampire that's never tasted blood? It's a little irony"

"[Jesus at Last Supper] *breaks bread* This is my body *pours wine* This is my blood *opens jar of mayo* Judas: I'm gonna stop u right there"

"Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will track you down... You have my Word."