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Joke of the Day

"Jesus said to Moses: ""Come forth and I will grant you eternal life!"" Moses came fifth and he won a toaster."

"If your drug dealer doesn't give you any change, he's probably not going to give you a receipt either."

"What does a Japanese chef shout in bed? Ooo mami! (Umami)"

"[NSFW] I was seeing a girl once, five actually... Then the sorority started looking into the strange sounds in the attic."

"Why do they have sex ed and drivers ed on different days in Mexico? Because they need to give the donkey a break."

"It's cute how insurance companies think funny commercials and catchy jingles will make us forget how much we hate them."

"Q: How do you get a blond out of a tree? A: Wave"

"What do you get when you mix a hippo, an elephant and a rhino? Hell-if-I-know!"

"How does one French arsonist flirt with another one? ""Voulez-vous bruler avec moi ce soir?"""

"I took the shell off of my racing snail.... I thought it would make him go faster, but if anything it made him more sluggish."