115798

Joke of the Day

"If your drug dealer doesn't give you any change, he's probably not going to give you a receipt either."

"that sad moment when you return to your normal life after watching an awesome movie"

"So what do you do for a living? ""I'm in the Secret Service"" Wow, you didn't keep that secret too well did you"

"A feminist got drunk at lunch, accused her boss of coming on to her, and slapped him in the face. She got loaded, triggered, and fired."

"A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop someone asked ""Where did you get that?"" The pig replied ""I won her in a raffle!"""

"How did Harry Potter get to the bottom of the hill. Walking Jk Rowling."

"I like my coffee how I like my women. STD free."

"I've just de-flowered a virgin. I mugged a Pokemon Go player coming out of a florists."

"911 - wats ur emergency? - i got stuck in some magnets 911 - who are u? - Iron man"

"I had such a great masturbation session last night... that when I woke up in the morning my dick was in the kitchen cooking breakfast."