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Joke of the Day

"Carl: ""It's chilly out."" Me: ""Tell me something I don't know."" ""Two dogs were hanged during the Salem witch trials."" ""Fair enough, Carl."""

Next Joke
 
"What's Santas favorite band? Sleigher."
"YOU ARE GROUNDED!!!! ~ me, yelling hilarious shit at the beef in this grocery store."
"Some choices are easier than others: An emergency doctor's appt vs a much needed hair appt. At least if I die my hair will be cute."
"Argon walks into a bar The bartender looks up angrily, yelling at him, ""Get out! We don't take stuck up snobs like you!"" Argon doesn't react."
"So my dog told me it was into BDSM So I tied it up and turned on the vacuum cleaner"
"Fortune Teller I told my friend that my dream was to be a cola drinking fortune teller but I knew it would never happen. He told me to stop being pepsimisstic."
"The easiest way to create a feeling a suspense. ..."
"If a malevolent demon is watching you sleep, simply go to Settings > General > Privacy > Malevolent Demon Who Watches You Sleep (Deactivate)"
"You know what they say about incest... It's only relatively bad."