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Joke of the Day
"The easiest way to create a feeling a suspense. ..."
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"Q: What does Bill Clinton have in common with former great Presidents? A: Absolutely nothing."
"Some nights I wonder if the little boy from the sweatshop that made my iPhone is staring up at the same stars I'm Instagraming."
"My mom just replied to my text with ""K."" Whooooaaa busy lady, is there some emergency over on FarmVille?"
"How do you upset a plumber? Kidnap his princess."
"[job interview] ""We feel that you just aren't quite mature enough for the position."" It's the Velcro shoes, isn't it. ""...yes."""
"Just for fun they should have the next Olympics in Ireland so they can call it the O'lympics."
"You're like that person playing Pictionary who draws something terribly and just keeps circling it."
"[As a tornado destroys their home] Wife: You're the best thing that ever happened to me. Husband: I really miss Baywatch."
"I just found out my girlfriend has been cheating on my with my dad.... Can't belive I'm going to be an uncle."