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Joke of the Day

"Argon walks into a bar The bartender looks up angrily, yelling at him, ""Get out! We don't take stuck up snobs like you!"" Argon doesn't react."

"Dracula & other undead people who sleep in coffins must have good abs. They always rise up flat-backed when the casket opens."

"Do you know why Apple steals all their ideas? Cause when they make their own I lose my headphones."

"Gave my cat some almond milk and now she teaches hot yoga on Thursday nights."

"Why did the little boy throw the linen off the bed when he saw a ghost? He was scared sheetless."

"None of my boyfriends even know they're dating me."

"The Dirtiest Dad Joke Every time my dad drives by a Little Caesars Pizza he says ""5 dollars hot and ready....I used to know a girl like that"" he says it EVERY TIME and thinks he's hillarious"

"Still haven't forgiven my parents for not being rich."

"The woman selling sea shells by the sea shore must have had a strong personal brand to overcome such a poor business model."

"[Baby crying in a movie theater] Me: ""What's his name?"" Parent: ""Ethan."" Me: ""The movie's starting, Ethan."""