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Joke of the Day

"On June 28, 2009 Stephen Hawking threw a party for time-travelers. He announced the party the day after it happened and he said no one came."

"Last night, I fell asleep with one of those new e-cigarettes in my mouth.I woke up half an hour later and my whole house was on the internet"

"Q: Why shouldn't you bowl against a snake? A: Because snakes make lots of strikes."

"Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera? Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time."

"I gave my Chinese mate some sweets yesterday... He said, oh these are Haribo! Well if you don't like them, don't eat them then."

"All the good guys aren't taken; they're at the bar on Tuesday nights. Trust me. I'm a stranger on the internet."

"What's 18 inches and makes women SCREAM? A stillborn."

"Twelve years ago today, my brother gave me one of his kidneys. I still can't believe that he did it. I wasn't even sick."

"My old dog What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs? Nothing. He wont come when you call."

"What's so good about having sex with 28 year olds? You get to do it 20 times because all of the reposts."