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Joke of the Day

"What's so good about having sex with 28 year olds? You get to do it 20 times because all of the reposts."

"Why does ISIS wear condoms when they have sex? So they can fuck two goats at once!"

"#rudolph > .nose { background: red; border-radius: 50%; @include shiny; }"

"What is red and white and red and white and red and ....? Santa Clause rolling down a hill"

"Online Dating is like Online gaming. The Grind is real."

"If Kevin Bacon never said ""want some bacon with your eggs"" to a lonely chick in a bar, life just doesn't make sense anymore."

"Decades of video games have left me unjustifiably overconfident in my ability to break open a wooden crate."

"Mom: Wanna help gift rap? Me: In West Philadelphia born and raised on the playgro-- oh you mean WRAP? Nah homegirl you're on your own."

"What did Hitler get the Jews for Christmas? Nothing. Jews don't celebrate Christmas."

"Apparently you can't get a sick leave just because you're sick of seeing everyone at the office."