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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? One goes \*whack* ""Fuck."" The other goes ""Fuck."" \*whack*"

"Jihadi math university question: Ahmed has 3 lunch boxes. He gives one to Mohammed and another to Hassan. Calculate the area it will cover after the explosion."

"What do you call it when you sit on a high chair to see if you want to buy it? A stool sample."

"Did you hear that Mariah Carey's producers asked when the ball would be dropped last night? Because it seemed to happen around 11:41"

"How did the pedophile pianist get caught? He accidentally let people hear him playing in D-minor."

"I have The World's Greatest T-Shirt. See, it says so right on the front."

"Plastic silverware: because the only thing I hate more than poisoning the environment is washing dishes."

"*Boss approaches desk* ""What the fu.."" Me, wearing paper clip necklace - ""See? I knew you'd be mad so I made you one too"""

"Policeman: Did you know your vehicle was reported stolen? Criminal: It wasn't when I took it."

"I Ejaculated 6 Feet Earlier. Which is weird, as I usually ejaculate semen."