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Joke of the Day

"I Ejaculated 6 Feet Earlier. Which is weird, as I usually ejaculate semen."

Next Joke
 
"Jokes I made up I might keep adding onto this if it gets popular enough :) Q: What did the man say while holding a square shaped clock? A: I'm holding Time Square!"
"What do you call a hot girl with no legs? Disabled."
"Why was the midget fired from his job? He came up short on his register."
"What did the Italian diver say when he saw an eel? That's a moray!"
"So Howard Webb has retired from refereeing..In his honour, Manchester United have retired the penalty spot."
"I woke up this morning with Chinese writing all over my bedroom walls. I couldn't understand it."
"[job interview] ""So why do you want to be a jeweler?"" ME(thinking about using that eye thing to appraise chicken nuggets): I love rubies"
"What you get if you cross an r/jokes redditor with an author of books about the past? History repeating itself."
"Yelling at a dog... Yelling at a dog to stop barking doesn't work. The dog just probably thinks, 'Awesome, now we are both barking!'"